INHALE, EXHALE

I am pretty open about mental illness, and how I suffer from it, lately I've been not doing so great and the stress from our move already had me on the edge, but then last night our sweet boy, Simon. He has a malignant tumor on his bottom, well it ruptured and that was pretty much the final event for me.

He needs surgery, he's having it on Monday and we overall got some good news from this but I just can't put myself back together. When my anxiety and OCD gets really bad I can't leave my house. So, I've pretty much mentally started shutting myself inside of my house and last time it took me several months before I was able to leave Simon's side without him having a babysitter. Well, this time our dog sitter is employed, so I don't see myself leaving him.

But when I'm able to stop crying longer than five seconds and when I'm able to be more than five steps away from my dog again, I will return regularly to my blog/instagram/my phone in general. I just can't handle any of that right now. I know, I know, it sounds a lot like I'm isolating, and I probably am, I'm hoping that after Simon's surgery, when I know for sure that he will be okay I'll feel a little better, but for right now, I'm pretty deep inside of a hole.

I'm trying to do all of my meditating and deep breathing but it is hard to catch your breath when it feels like you are drowning.