First things first, our sweet boy had his surgery on Monday and is home resting and I am so thankful that he is going to be okay, the weight of worry hasn't be lifted yet, but I'm so thankful that he's home and he's going to make a full recovery.

Now that is out of the way, we moved and I posted the above photo to welcome everyone into the face that we had moved and I've been thinking a lot lately, What is home?

Clearly I consider the house I share with my husband my home, but I've been contemplating a trip to Mississippi, where my father lives because my grandfather is sick and it feels foreign to say that I need to go "home". That place isn't my home. It never was.

I consider Florida, where I grew up my home state, but Mississippi, my family just lives there. I also know trouble lives there. That's just something I've been thinking about a lot lately, I obviously don't want to miss this time with my grandfather, but too many people back "home" forgot who the fuck I am. I'd like to just fly in, see my family and leave, but blessings of a small town I guess.

I'd like to say I'm grown enough to just turn around and walk away, but my time away from there, I've grown, but I wouldn't say up, more like elevated. I've grown tired, tired of the bullshit and intolerance. I won't stand for the racist, disrespectful bullshit that Mississippi brings, I mean it goes deeper than that too, of course, it always does. I just know I'm going to find myself in a world that I'm not comfortable with and before I would just camouflage myself and not rock the boat.

I'm not that girl anymore, I'll fight, I'll fight every single day if I have to. I will not accept anything less that what I deserve. My brownness might have been a joke in the past, but in my home now, they accept me and love me for being brown and I know THAT is what I deserve.

INHALE, EXHALE

I am pretty open about mental illness, and how I suffer from it, lately I've been not doing so great and the stress from our move already had me on the edge, but then last night our sweet boy, Simon. He has a malignant tumor on his bottom, well it ruptured and that was pretty much the final event for me.

He needs surgery, he's having it on Monday and we overall got some good news from this but I just can't put myself back together. When my anxiety and OCD gets really bad I can't leave my house. So, I've pretty much mentally started shutting myself inside of my house and last time it took me several months before I was able to leave Simon's side without him having a babysitter. Well, this time our dog sitter is employed, so I don't see myself leaving him.

But when I'm able to stop crying longer than five seconds and when I'm able to be more than five steps away from my dog again, I will return regularly to my blog/instagram/my phone in general. I just can't handle any of that right now. I know, I know, it sounds a lot like I'm isolating, and I probably am, I'm hoping that after Simon's surgery, when I know for sure that he will be okay I'll feel a little better, but for right now, I'm pretty deep inside of a hole.

I'm trying to do all of my meditating and deep breathing but it is hard to catch your breath when it feels like you are drowning.

SIMON'S FAVORITE GRAIN-FREE DOG TREATS

Since finding out that Simon has an allergy to grain we have been trying A LOT of different dog treats. We like to provide him a variety of treats but our standards are a little high. Our criteria for treats are as follows: meat as first ingredient, preferably sugar free, grain free. I thought I would share some of our favorites.


BUCKLEY TRAINERS - Simon LOVES these, we usually get the bacon flavored but he likes the chicken as well. We like that they use maple syrup instead of regular sugar. These are considered "training treats" so they are very small, we normally give him a small handful.

FULL MOON ORGANIC HUMAN GRADE TREATS - These are MY personal favorite for him, the ingredient quality is the best and Simon likes them too. They are a smaller size so he gets a few at a time. We normally buy the chicken flavor because my husband thinks the duck ones smell bad. I don't think they smell any different than regular dog treats but he really dislikes the smell. They are kind of pricey, but to me the quality is worth it.

BLUE BUFFALO BLUE BITS - Another "training treat" these are small and we've only ever tried the chicken variety but the ingredients are good and Simon likes them. I like that the bag is a good size for the price so they last a little longer than other treats we have tried.

OLD MOTHER HUBBARD - If you are watching that meat is the first ingredient be sure to only get the chicken and apple variety but Simon enjoys being able to have biscuit treats that are grain free. I like the ingredients in this one but I wish the bag was resealable.

RACHEL RAY SAVORY ROASTERS - Simon LOVES these so much but I'm often hesitant to buy these because they contain sugar. They are also the most expensive for the small amount of treats that you get. They are a bigger size so he only gets one at a time and they are grain-free.


Those are our current five favorite dog treats!  I'll keep you updated if we find something new that we love, but these seem to be the ones that we keep coming back to.

HOW TO MAKE MOVING WITH A DOG EASY!

Y'all, I love my dog. Simon is everything to me. He completes my heart in the best way. This upcoming move with be our second move and the only the third place that Simon's ever lived in his entire life! I was SO nervous about his first move, but with a few tricks, he adapted just fine.

TIP #1 - MOVE THEM LAST 
I chose to have Simon be the last thing that we moved when we moved into the apartment so that he wouldn't be under foot. With this it was easy to make sure that I could set up his spot (at the time it was under our bed) for him to go and hide right away.

TIP #2 - ENSURE THEIR SPOT IS SET UP
Simon doesn't have a traditional dog bed, but he used to hide under our bed for security (now he loves the couch with a blanket to cuddle up on) that is the first thing that I made readily available before bringing him over.

TIP #3 - DO YOUR HEAVY CLEANING BEFORE DOG ARRIVES (IF POSSIBLE)
Our current apartment was never lived in before we moved in so I wasn't too worried about him being around for the light cleaning I was going to do, but this move I will use all of my heavy cleaners before he comes so that we can just have a calm environment for him to adjust to.

TIP #4 - BE PATIENT WITH ACCIDENTS 
We didn't have this problem because there wasn't any previous dog ~*aroma*~ but we did offer WAY more walks in the first few days just in case.

TIP # 5 - ROLL WITH THE FLOW
Just give your dog some overall grace. For the first few weeks Simon didn't leave our side. I mean EVER. He was even following me to the bathroom. I think he was a little nervous about the new place but after about a month he was finally settling in and even though it was a little annoying to have him constantly under foot, I'm sure the new place was scary for him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMON!

Happy 11th Birthday to our sweet fur baby. I'm so thankful for the endless snuggles, walks, and play fights that you he lets me have. I also love that he lets me dress him up in the fall/winter with no complaints and that he loves me and Charlie so so so much. I can't imagine this life without him.

This past year we've decided that Simon is living his ultimate best life. He discovered his love for elevators and the dog park (but only when he is alone!) he cautiously approaches every dog as his new best friend and as my protector. He's developed an allergy to grain but he's loving all of his new grain-free treats.

He wrecks my heart in the best way. Dogs are the best y'all.